The Dissertation: Dhofar Rebellion Part 6

I've put together a Photo Bank. I'd like to include a few photos, both on the cover of my dissertation and at various points throughout. For example, Image #1 below will be used to illustrate the effective use of information operations by the counterinsurgent force in Dhofar. The rest - most of which are re-tasked from a list I kept for a work project a few months ago - will help to add some visuals to what will otherwise be a lot of text. Here's what I've got so far.

Image #1: British Propaganda - "The Hand of God Destroys Communism"

Image #2: Young Sultan Qaboos

Image #3: Young Sultan Qaboos

Image #4: Lance Cpl. Tyler Langford, anti-tank missileman, 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, leads his pack mule during a hike at Marine Corps Mountain Warfare Training Center Bridgeport, Calif., Oct. 13, 2012. Langford used skills he learned in the Animal Packers Course, taught four times a year at MCMWTC. The 16-day course teaches Marines how to use animals in the region they find themselves in as a logistical tool to transport weapons, ammunition, food, supplies or wounded Marines through terrain that tactical vehicles cannot reach. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. Ali Azimi)

Image #5: Marines serving with Engineers Platoon, 2nd Battalion, 9th Marine Regiment, construct a new perimeter surrounding Camp Hanson in Marjah, Afghanistan using HESCO walls and concertina wire May 4, 2012. Combat engineers have torn down some of the fortified walls to shrink the base's perimeter. The Marines plan to reduce their base's guard posts in half by the end of their seven-month deployment. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Sgt. Michael Cifuentes)

Image #6: 1st Lt. Michael Moore, platoon commander for 1st Platoon, Bravo Company, Battalion Landing Team 1st Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit, crosses paths with Djiboutian wildlife as he walks back to camp after taking part in assault climber training with his Marines in Djibouti, Aug. 29, 2012. The training is a part of a Training Force, or T-Force, package focused on primitive infantry skills. The 24th MEU is deployed with the Iwo Jima Amphibious Ready Group as a theater reserve and crisis response force throughout the U.S. Central Command in the Navy's 5th Fleet area of responsibility. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Michael Petersheim)

Image #7: A Marine with Fox Company, 2nd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment (2/7), inspects his vehicle on Forward Operating Base Now Zad, Helmand province, Afghanistan, Dec. 17, 2012. The Marines of 2/7 are currently deployed to Afghanistan in support of Operation Enduring Freedom. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Alejandro Pena)

Image #8: Marines assigned to Fox Company, 2nd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, Regimental Combat Team 7, ground guide their vehicles on the way to provide security for an improvised explosive device (IED) post blast analysis near Forward Operating Base Now Zad, Helmand province, Afghanistan, Nov. 25, 2012. The Marines provided explosive ordnance disposal assets to assist an Afghan National Army unit whose truck struck an IED that resulted in several casualties. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Alejandro Pena)

Image #9: Sgt. Julie Nicholson, Female Engagement Team leader, Marine Headquarters Group, I Marine Expeditionary Force, shakes hands with an Afghan child during a mission in Helmand Province, Afghanistan. Nicholson's team conducts searches of Afghan women and children and gains information from the women who are not permitted to interact with men outside of their families. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Sgt. Michele Watson)

Image #10: A soldier from 29 Commando Regiment, Royal Artillery, attached to Bravo Company, 1st Battalion the Rifles, patrols through a corn field in Nahr-e Saraj district, Helmand province.Photographer: Petty Officer 2nd Class Jonathan Chandler, USN

Image #11: A Combat Logistic Patrol (CLP) consisting of EPLS (Enhanced Palletised Load System), Combat Support Tankers (CST), Support Vehicle Recovery (SVR), Mastiffs and Ridgebacks in convoy in Helmand Province, Afghanistan. 1 Logistic Support Regiment (1 LSR) provides logistic close and general support to 20th Armoured Brigade, supplying and distributing everything British troops need. 1 LSR currently provides the Close Support Logistic Regiment (CSLR) in Afghanistan on Operation HERRICK 15. Its role is to provide logistic support through to all areas of Helmand Province by Combat Logistic Patrols. Photographer: Sgt Wes Calder RLC

Image #12: U.S. Army 1st Sgt. Brian Zamiska, 3rd Battalion, 187th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), pulls security with a U.S. Air Force working dog, Jan. 6, 2013, during a patrol with the Afghan Border Police in Tera Zeyi district, Afghanistan. U.S. Army photo by Spc. Alex Kirk Amen

Image #13: An Afghan National Army soldier and Soldiers of Combined Task Force 4-2 (4th Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division) provide security Dec. 6, here, as the commander of 205th Corps ANA briefs his International Security Assistance Force counterparts on the logistics of Operation Zafar. During the two-day operation, ANA soldiers cleared 22 villages in the Sperwan Ghar area and captured multiple improvised explosive device-making materials. The ANA planned, coordinated and executed the operation with minimal support from their ISAF partners. U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Kimberly Hackbarth, 4th SBCT, 2nd Inf. Div. Public Affairs Office

Image #14: Blackhawk helicopters fly to Kandahar, Afghanistan, Dec. 16, 2012. DoD photo by D. Myles Cullen

Image #15: Supplies drop to U.S. Soldiers deployed to the mountainous Paktya province on Forward Operating Base Lightning, Afghanistan, Dec. 23, 2012. Military leaders coordinated the air drop to resupply the base when adverse weather made roads through mountainous areas too difficult to traverse. U.S. Army Sgt. Aaron Ricca

Image #16: U.S. Army Spc. Zackery Cely provides security from a tower on Forward Operating Base Lane in the Zabul province, Afghanistan, Oct. 5, 2009. Cely is assigned to Company A, 1st Battalion, 4th Infantry Regiment. U.S. Army photo by Spc. Tia P. Sokimson

Image #17: Soldiers from the Royal Army of Oman, the Oregon Army National Guard’s 1st Squadron, 82nd Cavalry Regiment, and the 125th Forward Support Company from Joint Base Lewis McCord, Wash., prepare for a briefing at the Rubkut Training Range in Oman, Jan. 22. The U.S. Army Central-sponsored event was designed to share knowledge and build diplomatic relations. (U.S. Army Photo by Spc. Cory Grogan, Oregon Military Department Public Affairs)

Image #18: Oregon Army National Guard Spc. Brian Corliss from the 1st Squadron, 82nd Cavalry Regiment, provides cover with other members of his squad and Soldiers from the Royal Army of Oman’s 11th Brigade, Western Frontier Regiment, during a squad assault training exercise, Jan. 24, at the Rubkut Training Range in Oman. The U.S. Army Central-sponsored event was designed to share knowledge and build diplomatic relations. (U.S. Army Photo by Spc. Cory Grogan, Oregon Military Department Public Affairs)

As for this post's installment from the Quote Bank, I'm going with the words of General James N. Mattis. I had the pleasure of serving under General Mattis for several years, have met him several times, and was once photographed with him while wearing one of my kilts, as I demonstrated earlier. General Mattis, who recently retired, has been surrounded by controversy at one point or another in the recent past because he very carefully but honestly speaks his mind. I want to include multiple quotations from General Mattis in my dissertation, because I believe he and his remarks have demonstrated the best, most concise guidance about the state of contemporary and near-term warfare available. Here are some of the ones I've identified, several of which have already been integrated into my manuscript. Here's the "General Mattis" section from my Quote Bank:

"I don't get intelligence off a satellite. Iraqis tell me who the enemy is."

"I would also add that [Al Qaeda] was dumb."

"I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I’m pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I’ll kill you all."

"Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet."

"Fight with a happy heart and strong spirit. For the mission’s sake, our country’s sake, and the sake of the men who carried the Division’s colors in the past battles-who fought for life and never lost their nerve-carry out your mission and keep your honor clean. Demonstrate to the world there is "No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy" than a U.S. Marine."

"PowerPoint makes us stupid."

"[No new technologies or weapons systems] would have helped me in the last three years [in Iraq and Afghanistan]. But I could have used cultural training [and] language training. I could have used more products from American universities [who] understood the world does not revolve around America and [who] embrace coalitions and allies for all of the strengths that they bring us."

"No war is over until the enemy says it's over. We may think it over, we may declare it over, but in fact, the enemy gets a vote."

That last quote may be used to illustrate one of my concluding points: first, that unilateral declarations of victory will not prevent irregular warfare adherents from visiting violence upon the West; and second, that if we don't sweat to implement the lessons of Dhofar and other campaigns in the coming years of nominal peace, our forces will pay for it in blood when they are next called on to wage proactive or reactive counterinsurgency. I have a great deal of respect for General Mattis, who was a great leader, one of the few true strategists in America's officer corps, and an excellent example of integrity in both philosophy and conduct.

More to come.

The Royal Cyphers: E VIII R

Edward VIII, who was Elizabeth II's uncle, reigned for less than a year. (Edward VIII was accurately portrayed in The King's Speech, and portrayed not accurately at all in W.E.) As a result, his royal cypher didn't make it on to much. As opposed to the other post boxes, which were all found by chance, I decided that I needed a little bit of help to find out if any Edward VIII post boxes were even made; once I found out that they had, I found out that Aberdeen boasts two, and it's at the top of the alphabetical list of British cities in which E VIII R boxes are located. Here are a couple of other links about Edward VIII post boxes: 1, 2.

The first E VIII R post box was out west, in the end of town where my first What's Your Grid? mission and the Gordon Highlanders Museum are located. On a day that was far too hot, a friend and I went on a little stroll to Prince Arthur Street and Desswood Place. I was thrilled to get it, because that single pillar box completed the gap between George V and George VI. The second one was in the south end of town, across the River Dee - an area of town I've basically only seen from a train. I went yesterday, stepped off the #5 bus, snapped my picture, and was back on it when it swung back around to head back downtown. Bam. Nailed it.

I'll probably wind up down in England before the end of the year, so I'll look for an E II R to complete my collection. England's basically inundated with them, and rightly so. For now, though, I'm pretty excited about the unbroken chain from Victoria to George VI - and all in a matter of weeks, for a quest I didn't have any clue that I'd take on prior to arriving in Aberdeen. Outstanding!

* * *
I ought to have posted the first of these videos for the George VI post, but I'll make up for it now. As I mentioned earlier, two films have been released in recent years about the House of Windsor in the mid-1900's. Reviews of both films by one of my two favorite film reviewers, BBC Radio Five Live's own Mark Kermode, are below.



For some reason, the audio on that second one is really quiet, so here's the link to the January 2012 podcast of the show.

This ain't over.

Around Aberdeen: Loo Retrofit!

Early in my adventures in Aberdeen, during the One Pub Crawl to Rule Them All, I discovered portable quad toilets outside St. Nicholas. I subsequently discovered that they're a thing here in Scotland. The whole concept is that, during an evening of debauchery and carousing, a gentleman can carefully relieve himself of some of the evening's drinks without leaving a fluidic signature on any of the local pavements or buildings. That such a measure would be necessary in the first place is a testament to the level of disorderly drunkenness that everyone loves so much about the Scots.

Here's the thing: it apparently wasn't enough. A few weeks ago, I took this gem of a picture while availing of myself of the facility. (Hey, if it's there, use it, amiright?) If you'll look back at that first picture, you'll notice that this placard - which is absent from the blank canvas of the quad-loo in that picture from October - has been added. Why? I can only conjecture here, but I'd be willing to wager a few quid that despite the recommendations of common sense, or even of friends, or even of what passes for a local constabulary, other young gentlemen availing themselves of the Aberdeen City Council's provision for their biological needs have still been exposing themselves to the world. This ties back into one of those Facebook pages about Aberdeen I talked about last month. You stay classy, Aberdeen!

The Songs That Remind You 9

It's time for more of the songs that will remind me of Scotland. One that's been getting a lot of play lately is a catchy tune by a British pop icon named Cheryl Cole.


Yowza. I don't really go for a lot of ink (and Ms. Cole appears to have plenty), but she's quite a sight to behold. The next one for this installment is a song by Biffy Clyro, the title of which appears to have nothing to do with the actual lyrics of the song.


I can't put my finger on which song that one reminds me of, but it reminds me of some other artist and/or song. Maybe something by Keane? Anyway, it's kind of catchy.

The Books: Demobilization Downsizing

"When the United States leaves a war zone, they generally don't take their munitions. It costs more to bring it back than to buy new stock."
- Lord of War

My time here in Aberdeen is drawing to a close. I'm well past the proverbial hump, and the day when I pack up the last of my belongings and board that plane to head back home to the States will come sooner rather than later. I've moved several times in the last few years, including to and from the Middle East. One of the things I've learned is that it helps to plan ahead for what you're taking with you, and what you're leaving behind. I shipped far too much stuff home from the Middle East, I kept far too much stuff from my last apartment in the States, and I brought far too much stuff with me from the States - it was great to see Gus, but most of what he brought in my second seabag hasn't been touched. I'm going to try to do better this time around, and restrict myself to my Echo Pack and one seabag. Part of that will be accomplished by leaving a lot of my clothing behind, but that won't be enough.

One thing that I always retain - usually in great quantities - is books. I brought a bunch of books with me, Gus brought several more, and I've bought a number of books while I've been here. So, where do I expect them all to end up? Well, in order to help me start organizing, I took pictures of the several places where I have books: my locker, my desk in the SOC, and my bookshelf in my bedroom. So, what are the verdicts?

Two of the books in that first picture, Defending Arabia and Arabia, the Gulf & the West, were loaned from the Director. They'll be returned soon.

I have a lot of textbooks, some of which I've read, others of which I've read in part, and still others of which haven't been so much as cracked. These are: Another Bloody Century, The Evolution of Nuclear Strategy, Intelligence in an Insecure World, Intelligence Power in Peace and War, The Penguin Dictionary of International Relations, Secret Intelligence: A Reader, Strategy in the Contemporary World, Modern Military Strategy: An Introduction, and Modern Strategy. I won't be taking any of these home with me, save possibly for Intelligence Power in Peace and War. Pretty much everything can be re-purchased back in the States if I so desire.

I'll probably leave my Gideons New Testament behind, and I may leave my copy of the The Book of Common Prayer behind - I had the latter with me in the Middle East, but it may be worth saving the weight to replace it instead of carrying it back. (I already have an identical copy that I received for my confirmation in 2008.) I also have two Oberon journal refills that I've been using (very sporadically) to take notes from risk management textbooks. If one of them is still blank when I finish up in a few months, then it'll get left behind.

I brought a bunch of travel guides, most of which probably won't even get cracked. The Internet being what it is, and given the limited amount of time I've actually spent travelling, I haven't needed Let's Go: Europe 2012, Let's Go: Great Britain with Belfast and Dublin, or Lonely Planet: Ireland, and they'll get left behind. I'll take Lonely Planet Libya and The Rough Guide to Oman home, though, in part as reference materials, and also in the hope that I wind up visiting both countries in the future. (I still haven't ruled out a hop to Oman later this year, but we'll see.)

I have a bunch of books, some of which I brought, and some of which I've since bought, that aren't school-related. These are: Commando Comics: Desert Rats, Commando Country, Quantum of Solace: The Complete James Bond Short Stories, Saving Private Sarbi, The Art and Science of Embalming: Descriptive and Operative, The Design and Evaluation of Physical Protection Systems, and Where the West Ends. There's also the copy of Taken on Trust by Terry Waite, that I got when I met him in November. All of these will be going back home with me.

There are a few other leisure books to consider: American Sniper, No Easy Day, Starship Troopers, and Arabian Sands. These will all be left behind; Arabian Sands is already slated to be handed off to the Director, and I'll re-purchase it once I'm back in the States.

I'll also be packing a few other books that sort of straddle the line between leisure reading and academic literature: The Bear Went Over the Mountain, Cables from Kabul, Caesar Against the Celts, and Roman Britain: Outpost of the Empire. All of these will be shipped or packed.

Finally, there's a stack of books pertaining directly to my dissertation: SAS Secret War: Operation Storm in the Middle East, The Secret War: Dhofar 1971/1972, Storm Front, We Won a War, Where Soldiers Fear to Tread, and Who Dares Wins. Most of these are out of print, or just plain unavailable in the States. Plus, if I'm going to spend the rest of my life being an expert on the Dhofar Rebellion, I'd damn well better have the literary corpus to back that up with. So, every last one of these books will be either shipped, or packed.

This is just the beginning. The process of preparing for this latest demobilization and repatriation will be a long and arduous one.

Debacle in Shetland: The Gurkha Kitchen

Aside from the friendly and helpful demeanor of the Shetlanders, and the fact that I came away with a bunch of stories and little the worse for wear (I'll take a couple of blisters and muddy trousers over the shin splints and gastrointestinal turmoil of Beirut any day), Shetland's greatest saving grace came from the East... The Far East. After my geocaching adventure, I was pretty tired, and pretty hungry. I got to my digs - the Glen Orchy Guest House (pronounced "Ork-ey", not "or-chy"), broke out my Kindle, and searched for restaurants in Lerwick. To my surprise, Lerwick boasts a Nepalese restaurant!

Regular readers of the blog will remember my excitement in mid-April at having discovered Aberdeen's own Gurkha Kitchen. Also called the Gurkha Kitchen (apparently one of at least three "Gurkha Kitchens" in the United Kingdom, the other being located in Oxted, Surrey), Lerwick's restaurant boasts a beautiful dining room (Aberdeen's doesn't, but they deliver) decorated with a wealth of Nepalese and Gurkha memorabilia. I ended up going there for dinner, and again for lunch the next day. The naan in the Lerwick restaurant is, unquestionably, the best naan I've ever had, and I've had a lot of naan in a lot of places over the years. The Lerwick Gurkha Kitchen even served dishes featuring Shetland lamb - apparently Shetland is known for its lamb (which is fitting, because there's pretty much nothing there but sheep), while Orkney is known for its beef.

As I mentioned in that previous post about the Aberdeen Gurkha Kitchen, I've worked with the Nepalese in the past. They're extremely professional, polite, gregarious, and I could go on. When I oversaw teams of them in the Middle East, I quickly learned that I could trust them implicitly, far moreso than any of my American counterparts. For example, I can remember one Nepalese guard named Raju who had been assigned to watch some day laborers. By sheer chance, I discovered him still standing his post, after my American employee and all of the day laborers had left for the evening, simply because he had not been properly relieved from his post. That's a textbook example of the loyalty and dedication of the Nepalese people. Between experiences like that, and the excellence of the Gurkha Kitchen during an otherwise challenging vacation to Shetland, I was compelled to tag GBU-16 in the following Facebook status update shortly before boarding the MV Hjaltland to leave Lerwick:

One of the most important lessons I've learned in my life is this: when you've gotten yourself in over your head, you can always count on the people of Nepal to rescue you, if they happen to be present. Right, GBU-16?

GBU-16 was still in Nepal at that point, and within just a few hours, she had replied:

3 days without internet or hot shower, wake up at 6 local time to begin a 6 hour bus ride through spiralling, bumpy roads in the wild to get on top of a mountain to a place called Bandipur (local fauna: 9% locals; 90% German tourists; 1% the three of us), for 3 more days of research, no internet, no hot shower. At least the scenery is breathtaking and Nepalese people are lovely as always. Does this answer your question, Tom?

In that last post about Aberdeen's Gurkha Kitchen, I discussed the history of the Gurkhas. The Nepalese take the example and prestige of the Gurkhas very seriously, and draw great pride from it - as evidenced by the fact that pretty much every Nepalese restaurant, such as the Gurkha Brigade restaurant in Edinburgh (where GBU-16 and I may take a day trip to at some point, just because) and the three Gurkha Kitchens - are all named after the Gurkhas. One section of my dissertation will discuss the Gurkhas in some detail, particularly their ability to communicate and build relationships with the Afghans. You can watch a video about the Gurkhas in Afghanistan below.


For the rest of my life, I'll remember that an otherwise tragic trip to Shetland began to improve because a Nepalese family made me feel both welcome and well fed. If you find yourself in Lerwick - staying at the Glen Orchy, and driving a car from Bolts Car Hire, because both will treat you right - be sure to stop in to the Gurkha Kitchen for a great meal. It's a decision you won't regret.

Scottish Nationalism and Defense Policy

As I've mentioned previously, the SNP doesn't appear to have much of a defense policy. I haven't picked up on a number of stories over the last couple of months because I kind of burned out on my daily news reading and decided to take a break from it, but a couple of stories I saw (before I began that break) tie into the SNP's lack of a defense policy. One of the items that's regularly brought up is the fact that the United Kingdom's submarine fleet is currently constructed at shipyards in the Forth of Clyde (the waterway adjacent to Glasgow). The SNP has repeatedly said that the UK will still build submarines there, even if Scotland becomes a sovereign nation independent of the United Kingdom. Unfortunately for the SNP, this is exactly the opposite of what everyone else in the UK is saying. In fact, it looks as if Her Majesty's government is already starting to hedge its bets (probably as a political signal to Scotland as much as anything else) in its defense policies:

Fewer troops to return to Scotland

Hammond announces Army base closures

SNP leaders also seem to forget the longstanding concept that they should merge their military industrial complexes, with the United Kingdom building ships, France building aircraft, and Germany building tanks, to name but three examples. They can't make it happen, for a variety of reasons. An independent Scotland might very well have a slight advantage over, say, France, when it comes to building submarines (the Lancaster House Treaties notwithstanding). However, SNP leaders seem to ignore the fact that - save for the equipment procured through the Anglo-American Special Relationship - the UK avoids the procurement of kit from external sources. Scotland would become an external source, and it's difficult to imagine a contingency in which the United Kingdom wouldn't relocate its submarine construction, and its several Scottish military bases, to a new or existing shipyard in the remaining United Kingdom - places I've heard suggested are Newcastle, Portsmouth, and Belfast.

Another element of this discussion is Scotland's membership in NATO, which it currently enjoys within the United Kingdom. SNP leader and Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond and his subordinates have repeatedly claimed that Scotland will be grandfathered into NATO without having to apply as a new member. However, NATO has just as repeatedly rejected that claim. As the United Kingdom is a charter member of NATO, and with the Anglo-American Special Relationship to consider, it's difficult to imagine Scotland being allowed to join NATO as an independent entity. This is further complicated by the fact that the SNP maintains an anti-nuclear posture - a position entirely inconsistent with the purpose and posture of NATO, as I learned in great detail through my SND course last semester. Even if one assumes a decisive "Yes" vote in 2014, First Minister Salmond's stated outlook is entirely inconsistent with reality. In fact, one might go so far as to suggest that the SNP's underlying strategy is to leach off of NATO in the same way that Ireland currently does - something that isn't actually working out for NATO member states at the moment.

For a variety of reasons, Scots in particular and the British generally have been rather insulated from national defense for a long time. In fact, national defense is the most fundamental task of any sovereign government, and the SNP's lack of any coherent defense policy is disconcerting. National security isn't something you can come up with on the fly, it must be carefully and painstakingly engineered with a coherent strategy in mind. That coherent national security strategy is something that the SNP appears to sorely lack. You can read more about these issues at the Royal United Services Institute (RUSI) section on this topic.

As I've mentioned before, I remain skeptical of the proposed Scottish secession referendum, but I'm also willing to be convinced that the SNP has a plan and a justification for secession. The wait continues.

Note: I'm hoping that CN Glaswegian Sensation will consent to writing a guest contribution for the blog. She's read what I have to say about the topic, and said that she wishes that I shared more nationalist sentiment on the blog; that said, when pressed, she said that with respect to the vote, "my heart says yes but my brain says no", so it would be great to get her perspective on the issues in question.

Paris: Initial Reaction

Okay, I was a bit facetious. Paris was already on the short term agenda when I posted my destinations a couple of days ago. The good news is that I got to see everything I saw back in 2004, and it's all still there where I left it. The bad news is that I didn't get a chance to find the one geocache I'd hoped to find, nor did I really see anything new. It was also extremely hot - I may not be fully rehydrated for a few days; and I tore up my legs something awful - like, Unst awful, but without the blisters on my feet.

This was my window to hit Paris, and unfortunately, that window didn't coincide with the schedule of the longtime family friends I had hoped to run across. All in all, though, it was a pretty good trip. One of my favorite things was confusing just about everyone with my crazy linguist skills. France is full of people who speak French, and they're always astonished when an American guy can speak any French. Well, I took two years of French in high school, and even though I've probably forgotten more words since '04 than I had between graduation and '04, I was probably better with my French this trip than I was the last time. Whenever I have occasion to speak French, native French speakers - not known to be the most accommodating people on the planet - repeatedly and independently tell me that I speak it without an accent. I suppose I could do with a refresher course? Maybe I could start listing it as a professional skill!

Anyway, I'll try to post a few pictures from my trip over the next few weeks, but since Paris is so cliche, I'll probably stick to the stuff that doesn't usually get posted... For example, the picture of me imitating my favorite Borat pose in front of the Eiffel Tower. Eiffel Tower? Cliche. Borat pose in front of the Eiffel Tower? Comedy genius, and not at all derivative. Ahem.