The Great Shortbread Caper of 2014

One thing that Scotland is known for is Shortbread. A couple of weeks ago, I took great amusement in a BBC story: Lorry and trailer full of shortbread stolen in Kintore. The next day, I derived even more amusement from a subsequent story: Thieves who stole shortbread worth £15,000 scuppered by lorry fuel blunder. Apparently a bunch of thieves tried to steal a truck full of shortbread, but had to abandon their caper when they accidentally put non-fuel into the truck, leading the truck to stall out. You can't make these things up, folks.

Around Aberdeen: The Seagull Menace

Seagulls in Aberdeen are awful. They'll screech outside your window early in the morning, brazenly steal food if it's left untouched for a few seconds, and I've even heard of them attacking children. I've dealt with some mean animals in my life, but Aberdonian seagulls are mean - like, crazy mean. As you'll note from the picture above, they even kill and eat other birds nearly the same size as them - this was a picture I took on an Aberdeen bus around this time last year when I saw a seagull devouring a pigeon it had killed. As such, I took great interest in a story I saw last week: Peterhead brings in falconer to tackle seagull menace. According to the article:

People in Peterhead say the problem of scavenging birds swooping on locals is the worst the town has ever seen.

Aberdeenshire Council has recruited a falconer to patrol the area, scaring off the gulls, which have had a "very successful" breeding season.

[...]

"Anyone in the habit of feeding them intentionally can also help by stopping, as it's simply leading them into a life of crime, associating people with a source of food."

I say, bring on the hawks. Lots of them. (And they should apparently send send some to Rome, too.)

Scottish Secession: Early August Update

Alright, folks, here's your latest update on the Scottish secession debate. We're down to less than two months until the September 18th referendum, and here are some of the recent developments.

As I've noted previously, the SNP's financial forecast depends largely on Scotland's economy benefitting from steady or increasing oil revenues. The Chief Secretary to the (United Kingdom) Treasury, Danny Alexander, recently called the SNP's oil forecasts "fantastical", contrasting them with official forecasts. Those official forecasts predict a decline of up to a quarter between 2020 and 2041, specifically impacting government finances. These forecasts join repeated UK and independent forecasts calling the long-term future of North Sea energy production into question.

The BBC has also asked sort of an interesting question: Why does Salmond make referendum speeches in England? Also from the BBC, and it will only be available for a few more days, but the Newshour program did nearly a full show on the upcoming referendum. You can download it here.

In my last Scottish secession post, I noted that there had been a number of business leaders who had complained of bullying by the SNP. One such individual is Gavin Hewitt, former chief executive of the Scotch Whisky Association; a few days before I wrote that last post, his successor David Frost said that he hadn't been bullied, and claimed that he had been party to "vigorous discussions" on both sides of the debate.

In another development, two convicted Scottish killers lost their appeal to be granted the right to vote in the referendum. The Scottish Government welcomed the ruling. I feel like the jokes write themselves on that one.

As I may have noted before, a number of other European regions are keeping their eye on the Scottish referendum. These regions' designs on independence are one of the main reasons why commentators are so skeptical of First Minister Salmond's assertion that Scotland will enjoy abbreviated accession to the European Union. Some of the heavy hitters in the EU will have a vested interest in preventing that very thing from happening.

Finally, I wanted to share something I ran across the other day which takes us back to my beloved island paradise of Orkney. Earlier this year, the BBC hosted a debate on the referendum at the Pickaquoy Cent(re) in Kirkwall. It's about an hour long, and well worth your time to watch if you're curious about this topic:


First Minister Salmond and his political allies have less than two months to convince Scottish voters that they have a credible plan and, moreso, that Scots would be better off in perpetuity if inexorably liberated from their longstanding Union with the rest of the United Kingdom. The wait continues, and the time prior to the vote dwindles.

Island Paradise: Commuting with Around Orkney

For years, BBC Radio Orkney's morning news program(me), Around Orkney, has been carried online in a Flash-based utility. While I've appreciated the ability to listen to Orcadian news without being within transmission range, the inability to download daily episodes has annoyed me, as has inability to use my Android devices to listen. As such, I derived great joy from learning that BBC Radio Orkney has finally shifted away from the "listen again facility", as they called it, and started posting the recordings of their daily broadcasts on their SoundCloud page. I've been taking public transit to work, so it's great to ignore all of my former commuters and focus instead on the latest news from my beloved island paradise.

Scottish Secession: Early July Update

As we close in on the two month mark before the referendum, here's what's been happening lately.

A European court has ruled (by precedent) that, contrary to SNP claims, a disunited Britain won't be obligated to subsidize Scottish wind farms. The precedent was set when the court backed Sweden's refusal to subsidize a Finnish wind farm.

One of my favorite global security blogs introduces a disturbing harbinger, given my newfound penchant for whisky: the currency crisis caused by Scottish secession would necessarily disrupt the price of whisky, particularly for those outside of Scotland whose purchase of whisky is dependent upon stable exchange rates. There's also no word from the SNP on how an independent Scotland, which would have virtually no navy, would be able to protect its sea lines of communication to ship the whisky to America. That leads into another issue of note: according to the Telegraph, Alex Salmond's intelligence plan 'contains entirely meaningless figures and fundamental flaws'.

Respected analysts are predicting that falling North Sea oil revenues will impact Scotland's budget; per his usual response, First Minister Salmond has responded that these figures are merely "stuff and nonsense", without providing any further reason to doubt his opponents' claims. Unfortunately for First Minister Salmond, even the SNP's fallback example of Norway, which they strive to emulate, is beginning to face challenges with its own petroleum-dependent social welfare model. In an older story, there was a bit of a row earlier this Spring when the Aberdeen City Council sent letters to its constituents encouraging a "No" vote on the referendum. There have also been a number of folks who have come forward and said that they've been subject to intimidation by the SNP, one such figure being author J.K. Rowling; the SNP's defense is that they're the victim of an MI5 smear campaign to discredit them.

First Minister Salmond and his associates have just over two months to convince the Scottish voters that they have a legitimate plan to govern. Time is running out, and shenanigans such as these do little to encourage confidence.

Recent Reminders of Scotland

Over the last few days, I've had a couple of good reminders of my time in Scotland.

First, I've been to IKEA about four times in the last month, which has reminded me of a couple of videos that IKEA UK released last summer. They're reminiscent of Burger King's classic "Creepy King" advertising campaign that ran from 2003 to 2011. Behold, "One Room Paradise" and "My Pad: Take the Tour".



Second was an article from The Guardian that Joanne sent me: Scotland to petition US to bring back haggis. I responded to Joanne with the following points:

1) Haggis = awesome. Imported haggis that's been sitting on a ship for two weeks = not awesome.

2) One of the lasses at my favorite pub in Orkney, aside from being easy on the eyes with a lovely Inverness accent, clued me into the fact that the pub occasionally made a haggis lasagna. AMAZING.

3) We should make repeal of the ban contingent upon Scotland remaining part of the United Kingdom. :)

Now I miss haggis. I wonder what it would take to get my hands on a sheep...

The Songs That Remind You: Instructors Special Edition

I've been negligent in posting two songs that will remind me of my time in Aberdeen. The first may seem like a bit of a cliche, but my memory of seeing Skyfall with my coursemates and E is a fond one, so Adele's title track will always remind me of E, that course, and that Autumn.


Then, in mid-2013, CN GBU-16 introduced me to a lovely track released by The Killers in October of 2012 - about a month after we'd started our course - entitled Miss Atomic Bomb. Who could such a song title remind me of but Critical Mass, my acclaimed Strategic Nuclear Doctrine instructor?


I don't actually have a song that reminds me of The Director, but if I had to choose one, it would be Vera Lynn's We'll Meet Again - both for its lyrics, and for its connection to one of the finest films on strategy ever made...

Orkney, Shetland, and Secession

While I haven't been in a position to blog lately, I've been doing my best to keep abreast of the Northern Isles' sentiments on the impending secession referendum. There have been several developments of note lately.

A couple of weeks ago, Scottish First Minister and SNP front man Alex Salmond visited Orkney to talk address the Our Islands, Our Future campaign (of which I've spoken previously)...

First Minister Alex Salmond has set out new powers proposed for Scotland's island authorities, in the event of a yes vote in September's referendum. Speaking in Orkney at lunchtime he said the proposals recognised the unique contribution that island communities make to modern Scotland. Under the plans Orkney, Shetland and the Western Isles would receive 100% of net revenues from seabed leases for developments such as renewable energy and fish farming. Orkney + Shetland MP and Scottish Secretary Alistair Carmichael described the proposals as a 'naked bribe'.

... and was simultaneously protested by a local councillor:

Stromness and south isles councillor Maurice Davidson has used the opening ceremony for Copland's Dock to make a point to First Minister Alex Salmond. While Mr Salmond was carrying out the opening ceremony Mr Davidson appeared sailing a traditional Orkney yole with a message for the First Minister hanging from the mast. The protest continued as Mr Davidson sailed around the pier displaying his message about replacement ferries for the county.

The message on the sign alludes to some issues I've discussed here and here. The sign suggests that islands that are strong SNP constituencies receive better funding for their ferry services, while Orkney and Shetland (which vote fairly consistently for the Liberal Democrats) are marginalized in this regard. As I've mentioned previously, in the unlikely event that Scots vote to secede from the United Kingdom, there's talk of Orkney and Shetland remaining part of the United Kingdom, or even becoming independent themselves. (Shetland was specifically highlighted in a recent edition of the BBC's Global News Podcast, at 23:26 - it should be available until mid-July 2014 before it's taken offline.)

With the referendum less than three months away, time is quickly running out for Alex Salmond and the SNP to convince voters that they have a viable plan. While I'm obviously ineligible to vote in the referendum, I nonetheless remain unconvinced.